I used to say, “I’m such a good wife,” as I held my husband’s shrunken shirt straight from the dryer in my hands… again.
I used to say, “I’m such a good mom,” laced with sarcasm and followed by an eye roll when my kid would throw a super public fit about having to leave the playground.
I remember being asked, “On a scale of 1-10 what would you say your confidence is?” I looked at the lady in the interview and said, “Can I say a 7?” If you have to ask, I think it’s pretty clear where you actually fall on the old number line…
Despite all of this, for years my husband has said to me, “You’re a strong confident woman.” It’s a line referenced from an old TV show that makes this girl laugh every time… and the kids have definitely gotten used to hearing him say it.
Also around our house, there’s a lot of talk about superheroes. We’ve had many in-depth conversations about Thor and his hammer, Spiderman and his Spidey-senses… Hulk and his transformation capabilities… This has then led to many discussions around the dinner table of “What would your superpower be?”
One night, my husband asked the kids, “Do you know what Mom’s superpower is?”
Three of the boys shook their heads ‘No’ in eager anticipation as my fourth son loudly declared, “Confidence! Mom’s superpower is confidence!”
He said it so matter of fact that we all burst out laughing. But the thing is, it got me thinking. Maybe it started as a funny catch phrase around the house, but the declaration of it led to an actual manifestation within my very soul and I didn’t even know it.
Confidence: a feeling of self-assurance arising from one’s appreciation of one’s own abilities or qualities.
Confidence. Recognizing what’s already inside of me, DECIDING to be self assured, and then saying it out loud and acting accordingly.
You see, upon reflection I realized that my words had gradually changed to, “I’m a good mom. I’m going to tell myself, and then I’m going to tell my kids, and then I’m going to say it in front of other people too.”
And then do you know what that made me do next?
It made me encourage others to be brave and confident too.
Suddenly I’d meet moms on the street struggling with their toddlers having tantrums, or I’d see moms tired and sweaty in the elevator trying to grasp the hand of the wild 18 month old as he lunged for the elevator alarm buttons. And I would tell them, and continue to tell them, “You’re a good mom, you’re doing such a great job!” And it was like my superpower transferred into them too.
The confidence just started spilling over into the next thing. And then it started spilling over into my kids.
Just this week my four year old looked at the cashier methodically running our items through at the till and he bravely said, “You’re doing a good job!” She paused and said, “You think so? Thanks. You know nobody has said that to me this whole day!”
Just a simple little sentence spoken by a four year old. Confidence.
Like that time I walked straight up to my future husband and said, “Hey, what’s your name?” and sat down next to him. Confidence.
Like that time I had a baby growing inside of my body and I had to get that baby OUTSIDE of my body and I really didn’t want to, but I did it anyway… Confidence.
Like that time the rude stranger yelled at my 6 year old to ‘stop skipping down the sidewalk’ and I responded with a kind, but firm, “He’s OK to skip, thanks for your input though.” Confidence.
Just to be clear… Confidence doesn’t mean you won’t still feel nervous.
But confidence does mean you’ll forge ahead anyway and do the very thing that makes you nervous.
Although The Flash does have some rather appealing characteristics that would come in handy, especially as a mom, I can’t think of a better superpower for me.
I NEED IT to do my job of wife and mom well in this life of mine… and I had to have it inside of me first before I could start sharing it with others. I know it now, and I want to make sure you know it too.
So try it, I dare you. Go ahead and do that very thing that makes you just a little bit nervous, because guess what?
Confidence can be your superpower too.