I used to say, “I’m such a good wife,” as I held my husband’s shrunken shirt straight from the dryer in my hands… again.
I used to say, “I’m such a good mom,” laced with sarcasm and followed by an eye roll when my kid would throw a super public fit about having to leave the playground.
I remember being asked, “On a scale of 1-10 what would you say your confidence is?” I looked at the lady in the interview and said, “Can I say a 7?” If you have to ask, I think it’s pretty clear where you actually fall on the old number line…
Despite all of this, for years my husband has said to me, “You’re a strong confident woman.” It’s a line referenced from an old TV show that makes this girl laugh every time… and the kids have definitely gotten used to hearing him say it.
Also around our house, there’s a lot of talk about superheroes. We’ve had many in-depth conversations about Thor and his hammer, Spiderman and his Spidey-senses… Hulk and his transformation capabilities… This has then led to many discussions around the dinner table of “What would your superpower be?”
One night, my husband asked the kids, “Do you know what Mom’s superpower is?”
Three of the boys shook their heads ‘No’ in eager anticipation as my fourth son loudly declared, “Confidence! Mom’s superpower is confidence!”
He said it so matter of fact that we all burst out laughing. But the thing is, it got me thinking. Maybe it started as a funny catch phrase around the house, but the declaration of it led to an actual manifestation within my very soul and I didn’t even know it.
Confidence: a feeling of self-assurance arising from one’s appreciation of one’s own abilities or qualities.
Confidence. Recognizing what’s already inside of me, DECIDING to be self assured, and then saying it out loud and acting accordingly.
You see, upon reflection I realized that my words had gradually changed to, “I’m a good mom. I’m going to tell myself, and then I’m going to tell my kids, and then I’m going to say it in front of other people too.”
And then do you know what that made me do next?
It made me encourage others to be brave and confident too.
Suddenly I’d meet moms on the street struggling with their toddlers having tantrums, or I’d see moms tired and sweaty in the elevator trying to grasp the hand of the wild 18 month old as he lunged for the elevator alarm buttons. And I would tell them, and continue to tell them, “You’re a good mom, you’re doing such a great job!” And it was like my superpower transferred into them too.
The confidence just started spilling over into the next thing. And then it started spilling over into my kids.
Just this week my four year old looked at the cashier methodically running our items through at the till and he bravely said, “You’re doing a good job!” She paused and said, “You think so? Thanks. You know nobody has said that to me this whole day!”
Just a simple little sentence spoken by a four year old. Confidence.
Like that time I walked straight up to my future husband and said, “Hey, what’s your name?” and sat down next to him. Confidence.
Like that time I had a baby growing inside of my body and I had to get that baby OUTSIDE of my body and I really didn’t want to, but I did it anyway… Confidence.
Like that time the rude stranger yelled at my 6 year old to ‘stop skipping down the sidewalk’ and I responded with a kind, but firm, “He’s OK to skip, thanks for your input though.” Confidence.
Just to be clear… Confidence doesn’t mean you won’t still feel nervous.
But confidence does mean you’ll forge ahead anyway and do the very thing that makes you nervous.
Although The Flash does have some rather appealing characteristics that would come in handy, especially as a mom, I can’t think of a better superpower for me.
I NEED IT to do my job of wife and mom well in this life of mine… and I had to have it inside of me first before I could start sharing it with others. I know it now, and I want to make sure you know it too.
So try it, I dare you. Go ahead and do that very thing that makes you just a little bit nervous, because guess what?
Confidence can be your superpower too.
“He’s OK to skip, thanks for your input though.” – definitely saving that for future use
Yes! Things you never thought you’d have to store away…
Great advice! Do the thing you fear! Face it and beat it! Never run from a tough situation! You are right – that does build confidence!
You were indeed missing an ‘r’ which entirely changes the meaning doesn’t it…. I confidently added it. =)
Inspirational! And its ok to be nervous. One of my favourite posts yet!
Remember when YOU gave me the title for it on Sunday?! You’re like a muse…
“…“You’re doing a good job!” She paused and said, “You think so? Thanks. You know nobody has said that to me this whole day!”…”
I’m just crying a little bit.. Great post!
Right?! These poor store clerks… we must encourage them all… Noah, classic Noah.
Love this!! It’s how I feel too but I haven’t quite arrived to the place where you are. Love your writing and encouragements. I only have one almost 10 month old so I have NO idea how you’ve managed 4 boys. That alone makes you Super Woman! Sometimes I feel my greatest super power is just staying afloat and not crumbling to pieces haha
You’re doing it! And you will keep doing it… and then don’t forget to look back and be so proud of all you’ve done and who you’ve become. 4 is like 1, just louder, hungrier and more punches are thrown… Keep up the good work mama!
Love this!! Thank God for His grace in my life..which in turn became confidence. 😂😃😊
They are beautifully intertwined now aren’t they…
“Maybe it started as a funny catch phrase around the house, but the declaration of it led to an actual manifestation within my very soul and I didn’t even know it.”
Thank you for reminding us the words we speak are so powerful! It affects ourselves first then the people around us!